What is Love?

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What is true love?

I can only express my views. Love is so diverse and each experience is unique for each of us and each love is very different from the last.

I've loved many women and each time the feeling, the intensity of the love has been different, not less or more than my love for a prevoius lover, just different. I use the word intensity because, for me, it is the word that best describes the difference. Each time I have been in love that person has filled me up. They fill up my thoughts and my senses. They inhabit my dreams; when I am making decisions my love is central to all my considerations. In short, my life revolves around them.

When I was in Africa I experienced very deep feeling for an African girl. Was I in love? No, I had already experienced a far more powerful feeling with a Greek girl a couple of years earlier. Still, my experience in Africa was strong enough for me to remember it as I write about love, so possibly it was a mild experience of love with my experience with the Greek girl being more potent. Another love began as an ardent lust and grew into a deep caring. I only realised how much she really meant to me after I had lost her. Actually, I have lost count of the times I have mistaken lust for love. It is a mistake I am happy to make, though, as we have to appreciate that in the quest for true love there will be many a blind alley. Then there is the instant love. This kind of love appears rare, but it has happened to me twice. the kind of love that simply takes you by surprise and where you immediately know you have just met someone very important to you. Where the feelings explode rather than bloom. Where immediately you know you are a couple and surprise yourselves when you naturally refer to yourselves as a couple after one date and waking lazily from a sex saturated night, with your heads together on one pillow you simply know you were meant to be. The day before you were two single people and you realise you have just woken as one. It is like re-birth. It is an incredible experience and both times I felt it was truly forever. I could not imagine waking one day to find they were not there. the love was deeply intense with both the women, but I have to admit, with one it was so wonderfully, overwhelmingly intense it was as if I was in a constant state of ejaculation with the merest touch, or thought, at times ;-) ... Could it be it was too intense. To offer you an idea of the experience, I offer you the image of a glass of water. The glass won't stop filling up and the water keeps pouring in and overflowing. At times the water is gushing and splashing everywhere, wasting away. I'm desperately trying to mop it up and put it back in the glass, fearful of wasting a drop... the water was our love... or was it our love? It was certainly my love, and, at the time, I would have sworn blind she felt the same, but.... Well, we are no longer together and not because I didn't want us to be together forever... Before that experience I was absolutely confident that intensity of love, of feeling was a two way street. I was sure that if I loved someone that much it would always be reciprocated, that that was the way of the universe, that if you were attracted that strongly to another then it was meant to be, that it was destiny. How wrong I was...

So what is love? I don't know. You tell me... All I know is I look forward to falling in love again. Like falling off a horse, it feels soo good to get back in the saddle... ;-)

Digby Kiss

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A SEED SOWER’S DREAM

The hay field willow-wept with ripening seed,
And tossed their purple heads, and brushed upon our need,
And feathered fingers dance on puffs of kissing wind,
As hand-locked in togetherness, waist high, we sailed by, love blind.

Beyond the field lies a pond of mirror-still water,
And all around, as patchwork quilts, lie clustered jewels of flower,
And the pond’s surface reflect the rich green seam of reed
And all is woven in colourful confusion, as a bed, in answer to my plea.

And it was under the laticed-leaved, cobwebbed Yew
That I touched you for the first time; thigh-deep in your blossoming dew.
And it was amongst the bone-dry limbs of one fallen tree,
As Zeus I melted lip to breast as deeper still my root sowed seed.

And you, such a pretty face, vented passionate surprise,
And in you, my Venus, I drowned on your tongue and swam in your eyes,
As swan-arched and carefree, you came with me,
And we hungered on our touch as Eros and the nymphet Psyche.

And as we lay, so quiet, you murmured the words, ‘my hero.’
And passion conquered once again as Cupid shot his arrow,
And love-locked in nakedness we watched the sunset flame the sky,
And all you wore was a halo as the harvest moon rose high.

And when I mouthed in simple voice about my dreams and yearning,
The alarm by my bedside heralded the arrival of tomorrow yawning,
And you flew up to the smiling moon and vanished from my eye,
For this seed sower’s dream had ended. Too soon to say goodbye.

© Tim Rees

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